


Winded

by Trifoliate_undergrowth



Series: Drift Compatible [2]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Ableism, Angst, Character Study, Disability, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, M/M, early on when they were still getting used to working together, hermann: if I show weakness no one will respect me, mild hermann pining, newt: did you know I can mind my business, takes place before k-science shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26687815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trifoliate_undergrowth/pseuds/Trifoliate_undergrowth
Summary: It always happened at the worst moment possible and this was no exception: up until now Newton had never looked down on him. (He was too short, for one thing.) But that had just changed, considering Hermann was literally on the floor, bracing himself for the switch he knew was coming.Newton hadn’t said anything yet and he couldn’t bring himself to look up because if Newton was laughing he was going to commit a murder and if Newton wasn’t laughing he would probably descend into an incoherent screaming fit about dignity and that would be even worse.
Relationships: Newton Geiszler & Hermann Gottlieb
Series: Drift Compatible [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1924330
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Winded

Hermann could count on one hand the number of times he’d fallen down, and it was always in public. He liked to think he was perfectly coordinated if left to his own devices, but he wasn’t good at talking to people and even less good at focusing on multiple things at once and now and then he would get so flustered and distracted with trying to get his point across that he’d slip, or something, and the result was always the same. The fact that this only happened in public was _mortifying_. It was like a _curse_. Because then _people_ were there to _see_ him. And he got to witness the exact moment they switched from seeing him as a fairly competent person, to seeing him as an object of pity.

Also they invariably grabbed him and tried to help him get up which usually didn’t actually help all that much because they’d try to just hoist him into the air like a sack of bricks rather than letting him get his feet under him. Not to mention he hated being grabbed. Especially by people who thought he was helpless, especially while he was on the ground freaking out about being on the ground, but he never felt like he could _say_ anything because they were _trying to help_.

He hated seeing that shift and he did everything to avoid it happening. He’d push himself past his limits and end up suffering for a week if it meant not letting anyone notice him lagging behind because then they would feel _sorry_ for him. He shouldn’t bother to do that, no, and he shouldn’t care what they thought, but he did, and he always would.

There were a few examples of friends who didn’t switch, but would slow down for him or follow him from the stairs to the elevator to continue a conversation without making a big deal of it, and he tried to focus on that. But he couldn’t avoid thinking that those people were the exception to a rule. He didn’t doubt the exceptions would be fewer and farther between at a military base where everyone was expected to be in top physical condition. Which, by the way, Hermann was (for Hermann), thank you very much. And he’d been doing quite well. Despite his tendency to get lost in his words when he was talking about his work, and despite regularly using his cane more as a pointer than a crutch, nothing horrible had happened, and he liked to think he was improving with age.

And then, predictably, he ended up facedown on the floor at the worst moment possible. Directly in front of fellow scientist Dr. Newton Gieszler.

He supposed he should be grateful for small blessings, such as that the lab was otherwise empty. But still. _Newton Gieszler_.

They’d been arguing about how intelligent the Kaiju were, one of their main points of contention (Newton had a tendency to, to almost humanize them, in his obsession. Hermann didn’t like that), he’d grabbed for the corner of the desk to turn around and point at some of his chalkboard notes—he didn’t even remember the point he’d been trying to make, now—and he… missed? Did his hand slip off the edge? He was too distracted by the fact that he was _lying on the floor with the breath knocked out of his lungs_ to clearly remember.

Directly in front of Newton, who’d stopped a high-volume rant about Kaiju behavior mid-sentence. Oh dear God.

It had to be Newton. The only way this could have been worse was if Marshall Pentecost had also been there. Up until now he’d gotten along well with Newton—well. He was constantly arguing with him, but he’d felt that their interactions had a solid base of mutual respect, which he’d probably just lost. Whatever else he thought about Newton (loud, intelligent, _loud_ , attractive in an infuriatingly disheveled way, kind of overwhelming…) he thought he was a brilliant scientist (and did we mention infuriatingly attractive) and interesting to talk to and under all the bickering maybe even a good friend, he’d hoped. Not someone who pitied him. Newton had never once yet looked down on him. (He was too short, for one thing). But that had just changed. Considering he was literally on the floor.

Newton hadn’t said anything yet and he couldn’t bring himself to look up because if Newton was laughing he was going to commit a murder and if Newton _wasn’t_ laughing at him he would probably descend into an incoherent screaming fit about dignity and that would be even worse. So he lay there in exactly the undignified dying-spider-shrimp position he’d fallen in, feeling his face heat up in an angry flush.

“um,” said Newton in almost a squeak, “you okay?”

Hermann gave a noncommittal grunt, and Newton crouched down next to him.

“Do you, like, want help—”

“NO!”

Newton spread his hands appeasingly, got up, and backed away. Hermann folded his arms over his face, desperately reminding himself that he was an adult and a scientist and in control of his emotions and not going to start crying over something stupid like this. Especially since that would only make the situation worse.

A few moments passed, and he started to calm down. He looked up. Newton was on the other side of the room, flipping through some notes. He appeared to have completely forgotten about him.

……Okay.

He rolled into a more comfortable position, trying not to make any noise, and focused on slowing his breathing. This was fine. He was fine. He hadn’t really hurt himself, he’d just been shocked breathless.

Newton was… still ignoring him. He wasn’t sure what to make of that, but hey, he’d take it. Better than a lot of other possible reactions.

He took it slow. Sat up. Caught his breath. Brushed himself off. Stood up, shaking a little in the aftermath of the rush of emotions, but otherwise steady.

Newton looked up. “Oh hey. You good?”

“Hm,” Hermann gave a brisk nod. Newt, still in his rolling chair, kicked off his desk and careened across the room towards him, stopping halfway and spinning around in a circle.

“That’s good. Uh, where were we?”

“What?”

“I think you were about to tell me the similar behaviors across classes are proof of shared predatory instinct and I have an answer for that.”

Hermann laughed uncomfortably.

“Right. Newton—”

“Right, lips sealed, not gonna tell anyone. Seriously it’s fine though, I’ve tripped over my own feet before.”

Hermann took a moment to process this. “…Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “I, uh, don’t think you represented my argument quite as I would have.”

“Well okay then, what’d I miss?” he rolled the chair back and forth in excitement, and Hermann tried to remember where he’d left off. He could hardly pick up where they’d left off, but he did have some points he still wanted to make, so he might as well, he supposed. Newton zoomed around behind him, bouncing off furniture, asking leading questions and arguing with every claim he made. He was starting to get back into it when he was interrupted again, this time by a loud crash from behind him. Turning, he found the chair tipped over and Newton splay across it, one leg still draped over the seat and one at right angles to his body _how did he do that without hurting himself_.

“…Did you do that on purpose?” asked Hermann.

“You know I am genuinely not sure,” said Newton, pondering his position from the floor, still without moving. “Like, I don’t know, this is an incredibly typically “me” thing to do.”

Hermann sighed. “You know what, let’s shelve this discussion before we both give ourselves concussions. Coffee break?” he offered Newt his hand.

“Coffee break,” said Newt, accepting the help and bouncing up. “Sounds good.”

And to Hermann’s relief he didn’t mention it again—not then, not over coffee, not days or weeks later as they continued arguing more and more comfortably, adapting to each other like two planets falling into stable orbit around a common point, and nothing had changed but it felt completely different.

He was really falling for that idiot, wasn’t he.

**Author's Note:**

> One time when simply ignoring the problem until it’s resolved itself was the right call and Newton managed to DE-ESCALATE a situation instead of further escalating it! Go Newton! This will not happen again!! But still, good job!  
> Anyways I am weak for hyperactive characters who usually don’t have good social skills but who Know When To Stop when it’s important  
> Also hello I am able-bodied but I have personally experienced internalized ableism (firsthand AND close secondhand) & have some Thoughts about it all don’t cancel me please


End file.
